Steel Panther

If Steel Panther’s hair flipping bassist Lexxi Foxxx had things his way the band’s new album would be called The Foxx Corner or There’s Bitchin’ Lexxi Foxxx Pictures Inside This Record. Sadly Lexxi didn’t get his way and the album, which features such classics as Supersonic Sex Machine, Handicapped Slut and a subtle collaboration with Chad Kroeger called It Won’t Suck Itself, ended up bearing the name Ball’s Out.

Although he didn’t get things his way, Lexxi isn’t too concerned. For the man who invented and perfected the art of the ‘hair solo’ and sports a Botoxed lip pout to rival Lana Del Rey’s the only important thing in life is to always look bitchin’. Everything else – including the music – is just a distraction.

Before the Soundwave tour kicked off, FasterLouder caught up with Lexxi between Botox and tanning appointments to learn how to how he maintains his looks, how to smuggle contraband onto a long haul flight and the one thing he’d never do even if it meant all the pussy in the world.

Why should punters be coming to see Steel Panther rather than going to see one of the other bands on the lineup?

Because we’re bringing heavy metal back and we need Australia to help us do that. We want to come out and play there more than just once a year. I’m getting clothes made especially for Australia. I’m tanner than I’ve been. I’m doing enough cocaine that I’m at the same weight I was two years ago. I’m getting Botox done. I’m getting my hair frosted. We are going to be better looking than any band that’s on the lineup.

So anyone that wants to see bitchin’, colourful, rockin’ dudes, with bitchin’ hair and moves and real heavy metal songs and shit like that then you need to come check us out. If enough people do we’ll be able to come back and play a lot more and then we can have relationships with chicks out there – not serious ones. You just need to get to the stage ‘cause we’ve got some bitchin’ clothes and hair and make-up and shit.

It’s a long flight to Australia, I was wondering how the band will cope with out access to your diet of sex, drugs and rock and roll for so long?

Well obviously I can’t bring onto the plane what I’d love to bring on the plane, but I know there’s a bar and I think I’m going to upgrade to business class – I’m going to spend the money so that I can ‘tie one on’ if you know what I mean with a couple of Jack and cokes and then I’ll be able to rest. And then wake up and do it again. I’ll do it for 14 hours fucking hours man and then I’ll still be able to go when I land Down Under. It’s a long flight but there’s a few things I’ll be able to sneak on the plane…

Any tips for smuggling things on a flight?

Yeah, they don’t check your socks… wait, shit if tell you then the police plane people will check what I’m going to tell you. So I can’t fucking do that.

When you guys are on tour is there a lot of competition within the band to, for want of a better phrase ‘get your passport stamped’?

Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. We each have our own little techniques that we do. A lot of times, especially between Michael and I, we’ll be looking at the same chick on my side of the stage but if I’ve got my eye on one and he thinks he’s going to tap on that I have my own way of going about it. I can pass her certain signals. I can get one of the techs to give her a pass backstage or I’ll pass her a note and she won’t even see Michael. Usually I get the most chicks anyway so it’s not like I’m really even fuckin’ worried about it, but just to make sure I don’t have any stress over it I will have my tech direct her to where I’m gonna be. Sometimes, if that can’t happen, we all slip out of the dressing room at the right time. Sometimes we have a bus schedule – sometime I have the first fifteen minutes or the sometimes last fifteen minutes, we rotate like that – to give each other time to ‘stretch out’, you know.

So it’s competitive, but you do help each other out.

Sometimes. It depends – if she’s super hot and the other guys get jealous ‘cause I’m banging on her then sometimes some jealous shit happens. But for the most part we give each other room. Sometimes we’ll high-five each other if it’s a good land, you know?

As the best looking member of the band, do you sometimes find that the girls on tour don’t match up to your own standards of grooming?

First of all I have to say you have great questions. Sometimes, yeah. If it’s the end of the tour and there’s slim-pickings there or if she’s the last girl in the club but I’m ‘ham and cheesed’ enough it won’t matter. But if I wake up next to that person, well sometimes I can help out with their make-up tips. I can say “Hey, let me show you how to accentuate your cheek bones. Just put a little bit of darker blush under there.” Sometimes I’ll say “put on your fake eyelashes better, your glue was falling off last night.” I’ll give tips on ways to pucker your lips. I’ve seen girls again and they’ve taken my tips. I’ll say “Hey, you’re pretty bitching looking, but if you’re gonna be seen coming out of my hotel room or off the tour bus then you need to look presentable.” I don’t want people to think I’m with some kind of donkey. She’s gotta look fucking bitching. If I know there are people outside the hotel room I’ll make her up before she goes out to keep my reputation.

It’s your first tour of Australia – do you have your eyes set on any particular Australian conquests?

I’m gonna take it as it comes. I don’t wanna be too cocky. I’m very humbled to be coming, we all are, and I just want to take my time and enjoy the experience. I know I want to get some partying in and we’re playing some festivals, but other than that I just want to see what comes. It’ll just be nice to smell out some new Australian vagina. I have not been with anyone from Australia and I really want to put my penis in an Australian girl’s vagina. I’m going to experiment with a bunch of different things over there; I really am. I can’t wait to knock the first one out and then just see what happens. Maybe I’ll meet a special girl over there I’m not sure, but I sure would like to show them how we do things in the States.

How should the girls in the crowd let you know that they’re keen to meet you after the set?

If they can just hold up as sign that says “Lexxi I want to fuck you” and then my tech will find them – I have two techs; one to take care of the bass and the other to go out and give passes to girls that I choose. So if they can just let me know either by sign of just by yelling really loud “I want to fuck your face” then that’s how I’ll know and I’ll get those passes to them.

Were you disappointed that Courtney Love and Hole dropped of the festival lineup? Were you keen to hook up with her?

Courtney Love has been up and down the road and things like that. I don’t really go for chick musicians – I’m into the chicks who like musicians, you know? I don’t want some chick who’s better on bass than me, and a lot of girls probably are but I don’t give a shit because it’s not how you play it’s how you look. So I don’t really mess with girls in bands that much I take the more insecure chicks that are very easy to do things with.

You obviously spend a lot of time on your looks. I was wondering what the ratio of time spend on grooming to time spent practicing and playing your bass would be?

Grooming is the most important part of the job. Satchel can warm up all he wants before a show, but usually when I get to the dressing room I get in first to mark my spot by the mirror. The other guys will be fucking around or talking or what ever , but I have to do my part. Sachel can practice, Michael can warm up, but it literally takes my forty five minutes to look how I want to look. I have to wash and condition my hair. Before I even leave for a tour I make sure I have my highlights put in and my Botox. And I’ll make sure I’m tanned because it’s very hard to find tanning booths. I’ll also use spray tan all over my body, I get Sty to do that for me. I take a lot of pride in how I look. I don’t have to play bitch bassing, bass bitchin’ or whatever. The other guys know that, they know what my abilities are. I don’t give a fuck how I play as long as I flip my hair on stage and my makeup doesn’t run. That’s why I have a fan in front of my and a mirror right next to me.

So if I wanted to emulate your look what tips do you have for me?

There’s two things you need to do. First of all your stage make up is a lot heavier than your day to day make up – your eyes have to show from afar. So the best thing to do is to darken your eye brows, wear heavier mascara and eyeliner and eye shadow. Then your face has to be a little paler so that your cheek bones show out. You want to put darker foundation under your cheek bone. If it’s a big show sometimes I’ll get injections in my lips so that people can see the pucker from far away. That’s all for stage.

Now for day to day stuff don’t make it look as though you’re trying so hard. Don’t put as dark shit on. Sometimes you can look spooky during the day. Put the eyeliner underneath the eye, you don’t have to put it in the eye lid. Just a light graze of eyeliner so it doesn’t look like you have make up on and people will say “damn, he’s even bitching looking off stage.” They think I don’t have any make up on, but I do. You see that’s the trick – don’t accentuate as much as you do on stage. That’s important because you don’t want to be out somewhere at a picnic or something like that with a full fucking biscuit of makeup on. Do it subtly and save the heavy shit for the stage.

From touring and living the Steel Panther lifestyle you must have enough stories to put together a book like Mí¶tley Crüe’s The Dirt; is that something that’s on the cards for the band?

I don’t know that we’re gonna document it so much like that but there’s a couple of things going on now that I can’t talk too much about. But I can tell you that some production companies and networks do want to capture what we are like off the record and things like that. So there might be a possible movie, there might be a reality show. But as far as a book – none of us can really write that good so I think the best way to do it just to get someone to put a camera in front of us. We’re stoked to do something like that because our lifestyle’s bitching and any other regular band’s lifestyle isn’t so cool. We’re bringing heavy metal back on stage and off stage and we’re stoked for everybody to see that.

There’s certainly no compromise in your live shows – I was a little surprised to see footage of Steel Panther playing Asian Hooker in Japan. Did that cause any problems?

No. Sometimes it’s funny you think it might happen but they were super stoked when we played Asian Hooker the crowd went nuts. We appreciate Asian hookers – it’s not a bad thing, it’s a great thing. We were saying “Hey, we love your hookers” and they went nuts. We got a positive response.

Have you had any issues with listeners who don’t like your lyrics?

I know 50 Cent wasn’t too happy about Death to All But Metal [sample lyrics: 50 Cent’s a fag, so is Kanye West/Shooting hot sperm on each others’ chests] and we were a little scared to get a cap in our asses, we might still we don’t know. But as far as the Goo Goo Dolls and Blink 182 go those guys loved that we’re bringing heavy metal back. We’re super stoked that we don’t dig their shit but they still dig our shit.

Finally, I wanted to ask you a few of the questions you ask of the ‘Fanthers’ on the Steel Panther website – favourite Steel Panther song?

I like Turn out the Lights a lot. I like it for personal reasons because f who that song’s about. But I also like certain songs where there’s space for me to flip my hair or look bitching, you know what I’m saying? Eating Ain’t Cheating is a fun song to play too and I also like to get that message across.

Describe your perfect date.

I’m a little more sensitive than the other guys so I like to just start off real slow. I like to take my time. We don’t have to run to the tour bus; we can walk to the tour bus. I like to really get to know the person. I would say “hey do you want to take your clothes off or do you want me to take your clothes off?”. Since I’m very sensitive and emotional I would want the girl to enjoy the experience as much as I do I would give her the option and ask “where do you want me to put it first?”. I want her to feel special, you know what I mean?

I’m not rude either I’m real nice when everything’s done. I want to make sure that she looks nice when she leaves so I’ll probably give her some make-up tips. I guess you could say I’m romantic.

What is the one thing you’d never do even if it meant all the pussy in the world?

Um, I would never eat anyone’s poop.