Climate Festival @ Luna Park, Big Top (06/04/08)

In its fourth report published in 2007, the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) concluded that most of the global warming observed during the past fifty years is attributable to human activities. I blame it on Tommy Lee.

Think back 200,000 years and imagine intergalactic travellers landing on Planet Earth. Who would have thought at that time, in a jungle overgrown with exotic plant species and animals such as mammoths, sabre-toothed cats, huge moa birds and giant sloths roaming freely, that Homo sapiens would have reigned supreme to change and conquer the world.

The evolution of the complexity of human brains and tremendous intelligence, coupled overwhelming capacity for memory, curiosity and technology aptitude, has certainly compensated for the physical and sensory deficiencies fought by early civilisations. In just 3.8 billion years that human life has existed on Earth, only one species – humanity – has successfully been able to alter the biological, physical and chemical features of the planet on a geological scale. And Tommy Lee is responsible.

I remember when the skies where blue, ozone layer intact and it was safe to swim in the ocean without choking on a plastic bag. I remember when walking in the park meant getting a breath of fresh air, rather than suffocating on the creative green-washing ability of corrupt governments and dirty industry and business. I remember when Tommy Lee used to play drums for MíƒÆ’킶tley CríƒÆ’킼e and rock hard with metal/industrial/hip-hop collaboration, Methods of Mayhem.

Indicative of being in the right place at the right time, Tommy Lee has once again reinvented himself and playing alongside DJ Aero, has become the incandescent illustration of the technological dilemma, which compromises both climatic problems globally and his future as a reputable musician. Burn your Apple Mac Book Pro Tommy, and stop dancing to techno with your DJ pals like an ecstasy-laden ponce tripper from the happy hardcore days of the early 90s. There can be no medium between techno and technology. Any advancement in this arena is clearly to the detriment the environment, our collective environmental health, overall wellbeing and the hope, future and prosperity of our already doomed planet.

Surely if Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane all needed to host the so called carbon neutral Climate Festival with voltage suckers to the tune of Tommy Lee & DJ Aero, Junkie XL, DJ T, Klaas, Ian Carey, Richard Dinsdale, Supafly Inc, Eric Laville, Bumblebeez and other hard bass, power-draining, wattage-fiddling electronic acts, then the future of the planet is far beyond repair and we are all destined for disaster.

I blame it on Tommy Lee. Furthermore and without hesitation, I vote for flicking the switch to cashing in on extra bucks from loose festivals at Mother Earth’s expense. Let’s all pick up some drums sticks instead and a beat the kit in order to campaign for genuine environmental sustainability and emissions reductions, and to try and regain the real rock rhythm like Tommy Lee used to harness back in the good old days.