7 things that happened on the 2013 Australian tour Justin Bieber doesn’t remember

“I don’t know if I’ve been to Australia,” says Justin Bieber who was just here three months ago for a nine-date national tour. The 20-year-old singer was speaking at a deposition relating to a case in which his bodyguard allegedly smashed up a photographer – but he doesn’t recall the wonderful and incident-free time he had Down Under, having to turn to a minder to confirm whether he was here or not. In fairness, the question had absolutely nothing to do with the case – at one point he even asks, “Is this an interview or a deposition?” – but we couldn’t help but remind him of the time when…

1. He got in trouble with Australian Federal Police within an hour of arriving in Australia

Biebs was given a verbal warning from the Australian Federal Police at Brisbane Airport for using inappropriate language (he allegedly called a female customs officer a “female vagina” after she told him to remove his hat and glasses for inspection). Bieber and his crew were detained for two hours at the airport after sniffer dogs allegedly smelt cannabis in one of his personal assistant’s bags.

2. He graffitied a five-star hotel

After the first show of his Australian tour in Brisbane, Bieber posted pictures of himself and his entourage flexing their graffito skills at the QT Hotel in Surfers Paradise. His actions enraged Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate who labelled the singer’s antics “really, really silly” and reportedly sent him a graffiti removal kit. “I urge him to treat this city the way Gold Coast fans treat him,” Tate told The Courier Mail.


3. He went surfing with his little bro

4. He called a teenage fan a “beached whale”

While hanging poolside at Perth’s Hyatt Regency, Biebs didn’t like the look of a “gorgeous looking” girl with long dark hair who also happened to be a size 14. Eye witness Helen Robinett recalled the incident to “Justin looked over at her and said ‘What are you, Hawaiian or something?’ She said ‘No, I’m not’. Then he said ‘You look like a beached whale’ … The girl said ‘Are you serious’ and he said ‘You should go on The Biggest Loser.’ … The whole pool deck heard him call this beautiful young girl a beached whale. Everyone heard. And there was silence. It was almost like his security were used to it.”

5. He had a whale of a time at a Kings Cross strip-club

Moments after touching down in his private plane at Sydney airport, Bieber was whisked off to Bada Bing strip club in King’s Cross, where he spent the night sipping club sodas and talking world politics. The conversation must’ve been very enlightening because he was there until 4.30am, a source told the Daily Telegraph.

6. He pashed a 15-year-old fan on stage in Adelaide

7. His bodyguard slashed a paparazzo’s tyres

A Sydney cameraman had his tyres slashed, his pushbike smashed and the door of his SUV kicked in after he followed Bieber and his entourage through the streets of Sydney.