Music

11 excellent but unlikely Eurovision candidates

Well, today is the day. This afternoon, we will find out who will be carrying the entire nation on their shoulders at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest in Kyiv.

The rumour mill is in full spin, and of all the names that have flown around over the past few days, 2016 The Voice winner Isaiah Firebrace has emerged as the clear favourite.

He’s got a couple of things on his side: he’s signed to Sony – who have previously sent Jess Mauboy, Guy Sebastian, and Dami Im to Eurovision –  and his single ‘It’s Gotta Be You’ is going gangbusters in Europe, having gone platinum in Sweden and topped charts in Denmark and Norway.

But regardless of whether the competition is locked up, there are some underdogs out there that deserve a look in. We’ve rounded up 10 of the best acts that should/could/might represent us at the greatest song competition on the planet.


TISM

The ’90s cult parody band may be defunct, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t throw them a hell of a lot of money to reform for Eurovision. Hell – there was even a petition for it in 2015.


Tina Arena

An obvious, but nevertheless excellent, choice. This would also be a strategic pick, for Arena enjoys an insane amount of popularity in France – and lord knows we need to develop voting allegiances in Europe.


Kylie/ Dannii Minogue

One is the queen of pop – the other once recorded a duet with Nick Cave. Either sister would be acceptable. Or maybe even both? Porque no los dos?


Empire Of The Sun

They’ve got two of the core Eurovision requisites: dance pop bangers, and ludicrous costumes. All they would need to organise is a couple of confetti blasts and some pyrotechnics and the duo would walk all over this thing.


The Veronicas

Having just performed at Mardi Gras, they would be a popular choice at Eurovision. They’re currently riding a wave of comeback success with tracks like ‘In My Blood’ and ‘On My Side’ – and they already have the costumes sorted too.


Sia

Turns up. Sings anything. Drops mic.


Darren Hayes

In the years since Savage Garden, Hayes has carved out a respectable solo career with a number of excellent pop albums under his belt. Just imagine ‘Insatiable’ on the Eurovision stage – not that much of a stretch at all.


Montaigne

Killer pipes, a killer fashion sense, and killer songwriting skills – Montaigne would be an inspired choice. Plus, she’s got some great soccer skills that could easily be utilised in a dance routine.


Client Liaison

If there’s one thing Eurovision lacks, it’s ’80s Australian political culture. Also Monte Morgan’s hair. Client Liaison could bring these, and one of their funk-laced pop blasts, to the Ukraine stage.


Betty Who

Did you forget that Betty Who, singer of the ubiquitous ‘I Love You Always Forever’, is a #TrueBlue Australian? She might be living in New York now, but that doesn’t matter – would make the flight to Europe cheaper anyway.


Peking Duk

All the Canberra duo would need to do is get their hair sorted – I’m thinking some kind of Jedward classic cut – and they could be in with a shot.

Header photos courtesy of Facebook. Empire Of The Sun shot by Charles Morley for FasterLouder